I absolutely love this ridiculous BBC drama in its second season. It’s about a group of random women (with very bizarre stories) who had nothing in common except pregnancy. They met at antenatal classes and have loved and cared for each other ever since. They share each others worries and joys, they laugh together and cry together. There is something so powerful about shared experience. Sometimes there aren’t words for how we feel, but there is great comfort in a person who just knows.
I’ve never been pregnant, and while I’m told a lot of the emotional and hormonal experiences of adopting can be similar, there’s also a lot of differences. It’s easy to feel alone. Our social worker tells us stories of other adopters, and tells us what we’re feeling is normal, but it’s not the same.
Halfway through Stage 1 we spent four days at an adoption preparation group. For the first time we were meeting people who were going through the same thing as us, who were feeling the same things as us! A bit like the TV show, we were completely different people, with very different life experiences, but one thing in common. We were all longing for our children. We enjoyed those training days immensely and are still in touch with two of the couples we met.
I recently joined Twitter when I started blogging about our experiences. The main reason being to meet more people who were going through the same sorts of things as us. I log in every day and read tweets about parenting successes and failures, I read about the pain of caring for children who hurt, as well as the joys of the little victories. I read blog posts about the big events, and the small. Of all my Twitter friends I’ve only met 2 in real life, and yet I cry and rejoice with them all as they wait for their children, and then parent them through ups and downs.
Today was a Blog Day, but nothing big has happened, I couldn’t think what to write about. And then I realised something big has happened. I finally feel like I’m in The Club. There are actually people who are feeling the same joys and sorrows that I am feeling and will feel! I realised we’re not alone, and it is wonderful.
And so today, on a grey Friday, to all my Twitter and blogging friends: Thank you!